today is my first day of classes. i haven't done much today, besides distract myself from thinking about class. i fear getting into the same rut i get into every semester. i think i finally have my shit together, that i've finally organized my life. and then BAM! classes start, they assign work, and i'm utterly lost in a mire of "things to do". homework takes priority every time, and yet i never get it done in a timely manner. so everything else gets thrown by the wayside just so that i can scramble to get my homework done at the last minute. i write this now and think this every semester, and i always have a plan. 'i will only do homework on such-and-such day.' 'i will accomplish these tasks this day and those tasks that day.' 'i will do that when i finish my homework.' all these things never happen. i always end up in the same mess. how to avoid it? stop going to school! i wouldn't mind being a student forever. i do enjoy learning and there's always something to learn. but the rest of my life goes into chaos whenever i have classes. so i should stop taking classes! i'm graduating at the end of july. no need to go back to school after that. time to find a job and get on with paying off my student loans! crossing my fingers until then. not only do i have to finish up these last four classes, i have to find a job, an apartment, and enough dough to afford to move. please cross your fingers as well!
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