so things have really up and down lately, but now i'm just trying to stay productive. i don't think i need to 'finish everything now!' but i do need to do something each day.
so today: a) i went to work. in a positive attitude. i even wore make-up! work was slow but i got some stuff done there as well. finished off the media kits and printed a copy of my portfolio.
b) i got a lot of things done in a short period of time. between leaving work at 4pm and getting home at 6, i picked up my paycheck, went to the bank, put more money on my transit pass, went to home depot, and bought moving boxes. done, done, done, and done!
c) i actually made dinner. i bought a roasted chicken for this week, and i thought i should make a risotto to go with it. i finally made it tonight.
i think i deserve a good pat on the back or maybe a high-five. i need to do a lot more things. it occurred to me today at work that i still needed to buy my plane ticket. need to buy it now while the price is good. and i think it will be a good idea to photograph my stuff as i pack it so that i have good photos for insurance purposes. lightbulb!!!
6.30.2011
6.29.2011
leveling out
so a week ago i was "top tier". well... almost immediately afterward i hit rock bottom. on thursday last week i became incapacitated from stress and some physical symptoms that occurred from it. i was out for all of thursday and friday. saturday i started to rebound, and i was able to get some everyday activities done. but sunday was only worse. i became so stressed out i really couldn't do anything. after a pick-me-up phone call from my boyfriend and then a sweet phone call from my mom, i started to feel better and more in control.
monday was okay. i certainly did not want to go to work after the disaster that was my weekend. but it turned out to be an okay day. we went out to lunch for a co-worker's bday. the highlight was an email from the financial aid office telling me that i needed to approve my summer loan. what?!?! a summer loan. a major cause of my stress was money and how i could afford to move to new york. a loan would take it all away. and since i have already paid off my summer class fees, i figured i could deal with only taking a smidgen of the full amount.
fully believing i was going to take the loan, i called my dad to check to see if he was still willing to chip in a couple hundred to my moving fund. i told him what was going on, and then he offered to loan me the money! one day ago i was totally stressed out because i didn't know where i'd get money from and now i had two sources!!!! ultimately i went with my dad, mostly just because he was so adamant.
having all that weight lifted from my shoulders, i trotted off to u-haul in order to check out one of their "u-box" moving units. although that morning i had forgotten to measure my mattress and to bring a measuring tape. i showed up and it was a mess. i thought it was going to be such a waste of time! but then i ended up with this super friendly salesman. and he answered all of my questions. the box is HUGE! and it holds 2000 lbs. apparently it can hold a studio apartment - bedroom, dining, and living room furniture - without flinching. it doesn't appear to be possible to deliver it to the u-haul closest to my apartment, but i think it'll be okay.
*deep breath* things are coming together. hurray!!!
monday was okay. i certainly did not want to go to work after the disaster that was my weekend. but it turned out to be an okay day. we went out to lunch for a co-worker's bday. the highlight was an email from the financial aid office telling me that i needed to approve my summer loan. what?!?! a summer loan. a major cause of my stress was money and how i could afford to move to new york. a loan would take it all away. and since i have already paid off my summer class fees, i figured i could deal with only taking a smidgen of the full amount.
fully believing i was going to take the loan, i called my dad to check to see if he was still willing to chip in a couple hundred to my moving fund. i told him what was going on, and then he offered to loan me the money! one day ago i was totally stressed out because i didn't know where i'd get money from and now i had two sources!!!! ultimately i went with my dad, mostly just because he was so adamant.
having all that weight lifted from my shoulders, i trotted off to u-haul in order to check out one of their "u-box" moving units. although that morning i had forgotten to measure my mattress and to bring a measuring tape. i showed up and it was a mess. i thought it was going to be such a waste of time! but then i ended up with this super friendly salesman. and he answered all of my questions. the box is HUGE! and it holds 2000 lbs. apparently it can hold a studio apartment - bedroom, dining, and living room furniture - without flinching. it doesn't appear to be possible to deliver it to the u-haul closest to my apartment, but i think it'll be okay.
*deep breath* things are coming together. hurray!!!
6.22.2011
top tier
since i am currently on top of my game, i feel good. i made myself dinner tonight (after class, no less). i am so organized. i've already unpacked my bag from this weekend, a week ahead of schedule. i looked into how much boxes will cost. my dinners this week will eat up some of my frozen goods, so i don't have to pack them or throw them away. i'm paying bills, going through my receipts and bank statements, and looking around for some dough to save for moving. i think tomorrow i will look into how it will cost me to move myself. it might also be worth it to have christian fly in to help... instead of my mom. i wonder if she will be offended. i'd love for her to come and help. and it's awesome that she was willing to, but i think i might be able to do it less expensively on my own. but that's another day. today i'm good to go. i even started to research my paper topic for the final. so far no luck, but hopefully i end up somewhere. now for bed.
6.17.2011
now it begins...
tomorrow i leave for new york, just for the weekend. i am incredibly interested to see how i feel about it now that i've decided to move back. i'm a little worried. the boyfriend and i had a serious discussion right before he left last time; we'll have to pick up from there. but so far we have lots of plans, and none of them include job or apartment hunting. that would be nice. it's looking more and more like i'm going to sublet his friend's place. i'm hoping to meet up with a friend of mine and see if she'd want to room with me.
friday afternoon, i do have to interview for this personal assistant job here in chicago. something extra to help me afford the move. i was supposed to interview today, but he had surgery yesterday (part of the reason he needs an assistant) and was too out of it to interview me. let's hope this works out!
i'm also going to meet up with a woman that the boyfriend has started working with, who also happens to be a pratt interior design grad. she's currently a owner's rep, which i would love to do! so i'm going to get to pick her brain and hear about how she got to where she is. it'll be really interesting.
side note on the moving: real simple mentioned in this month's magazine that if you're moving you should check out the stuff on their website. i will do just that! i can use all the help i can get!
friday afternoon, i do have to interview for this personal assistant job here in chicago. something extra to help me afford the move. i was supposed to interview today, but he had surgery yesterday (part of the reason he needs an assistant) and was too out of it to interview me. let's hope this works out!
i'm also going to meet up with a woman that the boyfriend has started working with, who also happens to be a pratt interior design grad. she's currently a owner's rep, which i would love to do! so i'm going to get to pick her brain and hear about how she got to where she is. it'll be really interesting.
side note on the moving: real simple mentioned in this month's magazine that if you're moving you should check out the stuff on their website. i will do just that! i can use all the help i can get!
6.15.2011
rejection
so i'm still in the midst of a job hunt. looking not only for a full-time job when i move to new york, but also some part-time work to fund the move.
i haven't had much luck in either arena. first, there aren't many positions available for now til the end of july. i have found one prospect. a man will be recovering from foot surgery so he is in need of a personal assistant. i can totally do that. answering phones, returning messages, and organizing god-knows how much information. it's totally up my alley. the weird part is that he wants to skype us in order to interview us. weird. i don't really know what that means. i wonder if i'll be working from home a lot. and that's how we'll communicate. don't know.
the job in new york has been kind of a promising search, except everyone i talk to wants me to call back closer to when i move. one job was as a material librarian, and they are always getting new jobs and thus having new positions. the other job was at a furniture showroom and is a three month position. i don't know how they would have an opening in a month. weird.
the rejection today from the furniture showroom was really emotional. i think it was mostly from not eating. i've been down a lot recently, but that rejection was a blow. it wasn't really even a rejection, and i didn't really want the position. i blame the food or lack there of.
but i'm pressing forward. i applied for several more jobs today, and they were more aligned with what i want to do. so we'll see. it would be great for things to work out.
i haven't had much luck in either arena. first, there aren't many positions available for now til the end of july. i have found one prospect. a man will be recovering from foot surgery so he is in need of a personal assistant. i can totally do that. answering phones, returning messages, and organizing god-knows how much information. it's totally up my alley. the weird part is that he wants to skype us in order to interview us. weird. i don't really know what that means. i wonder if i'll be working from home a lot. and that's how we'll communicate. don't know.
the job in new york has been kind of a promising search, except everyone i talk to wants me to call back closer to when i move. one job was as a material librarian, and they are always getting new jobs and thus having new positions. the other job was at a furniture showroom and is a three month position. i don't know how they would have an opening in a month. weird.
the rejection today from the furniture showroom was really emotional. i think it was mostly from not eating. i've been down a lot recently, but that rejection was a blow. it wasn't really even a rejection, and i didn't really want the position. i blame the food or lack there of.
but i'm pressing forward. i applied for several more jobs today, and they were more aligned with what i want to do. so we'll see. it would be great for things to work out.
6.11.2011
food
i love food. i believe i have written about this before, but i do. i love food. not in a 'i do nothing but eat. and when i'm not eating i think about eating' kind of way. i'm not as into eating. i love tastes and smells and textures, but the act of eating, of filling my stomach is not the primary goal. i have had enough negative experiences from foods finding their way through my body that it limits my enjoyment from eating. but it has had no effect on my appreciation of food.
i love trying new things. i love being rushed with the smells. i love crumbling, cutting, peeling, and otherwise dismantling food. i love the sight of a pot of water boiling. i love the thought of bacon cooking in the morning, of crisp lettuce on a sandwich, of finishing my 'veggies' so i can have my dessert.
my mother cooked. my grandmother cooked. we cook together. every couple of years we're in the same place at the same time, and we cook. my grandmother does christmas all on her own. no one is allowed in the kitchen. you do not touch the marshmallows on the sweet potatoes. no stealing rolls before they go to the table. any other day of the year, you're allowed to cook in the kitchen, but not that day. not christmas. come to think of it, i don't think i've ever cooked with my grandmother. maybe at my mom's house, but not at her's. my grandmother's kitchen is her territory. i always felt a little daunted by the idea of cooking with someone who is obviously so good at it.
i cooked a lot with my mother, and for her. we were encouraged as children to participate in the production of meals, even if it was the assembling of a salad. it became more meaningful after my parents divorced. my brother and i would prepare meals on occasion (often to get out of doing the dishes). she never forced me to eat things i didn't want to. besides a lima bean here and there. (they're so dry...) once in a blue moon we would go out for german food - her fav, my enemy. she often tried to get us to try things she loved: chorizo, acorn squash, pea soup. to her credit they are all things i love today. besides the occasional exotic food, my mother made simple fare. spaghetti. tacos. chicken pot pie. all things i remember eating a lot of in my youth. i loved pasta, anything italian. my brother liked meat, ribs to be exact, baby back ribs to be further annoying.
we have both moved onto more exotic tastes. my brother even does his own thanksgiving and christmas. last year he made a beef roast. i had crab boil at my mom's. we survived and came out well past the other side. it's nice to have such an appreciation for food. to think that at one time my brother lived off of mcdonald's cheeseburgers and i ate ramen perpetually. i think we turned out well.
i love trying new things. i love being rushed with the smells. i love crumbling, cutting, peeling, and otherwise dismantling food. i love the sight of a pot of water boiling. i love the thought of bacon cooking in the morning, of crisp lettuce on a sandwich, of finishing my 'veggies' so i can have my dessert.
my mother cooked. my grandmother cooked. we cook together. every couple of years we're in the same place at the same time, and we cook. my grandmother does christmas all on her own. no one is allowed in the kitchen. you do not touch the marshmallows on the sweet potatoes. no stealing rolls before they go to the table. any other day of the year, you're allowed to cook in the kitchen, but not that day. not christmas. come to think of it, i don't think i've ever cooked with my grandmother. maybe at my mom's house, but not at her's. my grandmother's kitchen is her territory. i always felt a little daunted by the idea of cooking with someone who is obviously so good at it.
i cooked a lot with my mother, and for her. we were encouraged as children to participate in the production of meals, even if it was the assembling of a salad. it became more meaningful after my parents divorced. my brother and i would prepare meals on occasion (often to get out of doing the dishes). she never forced me to eat things i didn't want to. besides a lima bean here and there. (they're so dry...) once in a blue moon we would go out for german food - her fav, my enemy. she often tried to get us to try things she loved: chorizo, acorn squash, pea soup. to her credit they are all things i love today. besides the occasional exotic food, my mother made simple fare. spaghetti. tacos. chicken pot pie. all things i remember eating a lot of in my youth. i loved pasta, anything italian. my brother liked meat, ribs to be exact, baby back ribs to be further annoying.
we have both moved onto more exotic tastes. my brother even does his own thanksgiving and christmas. last year he made a beef roast. i had crab boil at my mom's. we survived and came out well past the other side. it's nice to have such an appreciation for food. to think that at one time my brother lived off of mcdonald's cheeseburgers and i ate ramen perpetually. i think we turned out well.
6.08.2011
silver lining
as the last post sort of implied, i am insanely stressed out. about finding a job, finishing school, finding an apartment, packing, and finally moving. so stressed out that i'm having stress dreams. example: last night i dreamt that i had to rush home from class to go pack. so then i wake up still totally stressed and still tired. the worst...
so today i had to go pick up my paycheck and had a lovely chat with the woman at the temp agency. (i have no idea what her title or position are, so i am going to refrain from calling her the administrative assistant.) she was legitimately excited for the prospect of me moving to new york. and she laughed when i described how stressed out i am. for some reason this wasn't insulting; it was a refreshing break. everyone else i've talked to have been wonderfully empathetic, but i apparently needed someone lighthearted.
so now she has me looking at what i originally thought was 'the light at the end of the tunnel' but i realized that'll apply when i get closer to the move date. what i see now is 'the silver lining'. when i move, when all this stuff is over, i'll be back in new york! i'll get to see all of my friends whenever i want! and best of all i'll get to see my boyfriend whenever i want! thank god! now i almost can't wait! i'm still daunted by all the planning that needs to happen, but nothing beats the silver lining!
so today i had to go pick up my paycheck and had a lovely chat with the woman at the temp agency. (i have no idea what her title or position are, so i am going to refrain from calling her the administrative assistant.) she was legitimately excited for the prospect of me moving to new york. and she laughed when i described how stressed out i am. for some reason this wasn't insulting; it was a refreshing break. everyone else i've talked to have been wonderfully empathetic, but i apparently needed someone lighthearted.
so now she has me looking at what i originally thought was 'the light at the end of the tunnel' but i realized that'll apply when i get closer to the move date. what i see now is 'the silver lining'. when i move, when all this stuff is over, i'll be back in new york! i'll get to see all of my friends whenever i want! and best of all i'll get to see my boyfriend whenever i want! thank god! now i almost can't wait! i'm still daunted by all the planning that needs to happen, but nothing beats the silver lining!
6.07.2011
my superpower
this is currently coming in handy with my upcoming move. i need to find a job, find an apartment, and figure out the cheapest way to get my stuff from here to there.
where am i going you ask? back to brooklyn, ny! i am leaving chicago (insert sad face) and heading back to brooklyn in order to be near the boyfriend. (since he refuses to move here.)
ultimately i am hoping that his connections along with my veracity while enable me to get a job. finding an apartment is easy; finding good roommates or a place without fleas, roaches, or flies is infinitely harder. especially since i'm on the budget from hell.
now the moving... if you've been reading this blog from the start, you already know how amazing i am at planning the packing part of a move. the first time i moved in chicago i was able to fit all of my belongings into the truck and back seat of a 4-door car (a dodge charger, which i fell in love with). this last time i planned every box, with the only upset being that my mattress was too tall for the van i had rented.
this go-around my mother is driving up from georgia to help out. we'll rent the largest trailer u-haul will give us, pack it up, and drive it halfway across the country to brooklyn. this will be a godsend if i can scrape together the money to pay for gas, hotel, and the like. we'll see...
otherwise i haven't even gotten to the packing or the planning of the packing yet. still in the job and apartment-hunting phase. without both i shouldn't really move. wish me luck!
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